Live and Learn.

Lesson Learned. Sure by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Are you an optimist? Studies say that they live longer, are healthier and happier than their pessimistic colleagues. But it can be tough to do.

Take yesterday for example. I had written an interesting article about “constant improvement” and how choosing to improve yourself makes the process much more enjoyable and fun than having it forced upon you by the outside world.

Sadly however – I apparently didn’t check when I copied it onto another document, and I lost the article. Even when you only spend 15 minutes writing that can be frustrating, but when it’s longer it really hurts.

At first I was really mad. Stupid software! Stupid computer! But alas, the truth is that the fault lies with me. I should have double-checked, like I usually do, to make sure I had properly saved the information. I should have made sure, like I usually do, that I saved the original as a back-up until I posted the article. But I didn’t.

Sure I’d like to put the blame on someone or something else – like the software or computer I was using, but that’s not being honest. And – I’m trying to make some of those constant improvements to myself. I am already an optimist, but I still tend to try and put the blame for failure on people or things outside of myself.

So now, I’m admitting it. I messed up. I didn’t pay attention. I let being tired and hurrying to complete my project get in the way of doing things right. I took a shortcut and it back-fired. Okay, no big deal.

But I bet you the next time, after acknowledging my role in this, I’ll be a lot more careful. Next time I’ll pay more attention and do it right. Next time, you’ll actually enjoy reading what I’ve written. Meanwhile at least this will be good for a laugh!

Good Times Get You Through.

Dreamin’ – Hot Air Balloon Rides by stop.down

This past weekend a beloved family member passed away. While we knew she was ill since last January, it was still a tough process to go through. For me, many of my happier memories are what helped me get through the tough times.

Often we think of fun and joy as frivolous and silly. We may think there are more important things, like our job, our house, our children and our bodies. While these things are important, they mean little to nothing if not enjoyed.

If all we did was labor at work, toil at home, or slave on the treadmill, life would be a boring, dull wasteland. If not what we do in life, but how we do it that makes life worthwhile. Seeing someone die enforces this lesson like nothing else can.

Joy, laughter, and interesting, exciting activities are what make life good. Thinking back to all the happy times we had made the sadness of her loss easier to bear. It’s a vibrant reminder that life is in the little things. Those things we do each and every day.

Do you sing while you wash the dishes? Do you stargaze as you take out the trash? Do you share a joke or two each day at work? These are all opportunities to add fun and joy to your day.

Planning your fun is an important step in producing festive souvenirs of the past. Too often we think that fun is something that just happens. We think if we go to the amusement park, our joy will be unbounded. Then we arrive and find long lines or blistering heat and our expectations are dashed.

Fun doesn’t have to be all or nothing. A family gathering of pizza and board games on Friday night can be spontaneous and silly. A dinner out with friends can be an adventure when you experiment with different cultures and tastes. Fun comes in millions of shapes and forms, there’s something out there for everyone.

Happy memories and good times can be wonderful when they occur, but their true value is in remembered joy. When life throws us into turmoil, it can be those bright, shining recollections of more joyous moments that glimmer with a beacon of hope. Perhaps if those cheerful, fortunate times happened before, they can happen again.

The key is realizing that now is the time to build those indelible moments that will stand the test of time. Don’t let bills or financial worries keep you from your fun. A day at the park or beach can be just as playful as a stay at an amusement park. A cookie exchange where each person brings their own favorite can be a tasty and fun way to exchange recipes and have a good time.

There is no perfect way to have fun. Have an indoor picnic while you watch the snow fall outside. Have a movie theme night and play only Jack Nicholson or only comedy movies. Have a garden party and make delicious dishes from the vegetables. Whatever hobby or game you enjoy can make for a fantastic starting point to fun. And you can start this very day. Let go and enjoy – it’s what life is all about!

You Don’t Have To Have All The Answers.

Question! by -bast-

What a wonderful, freeing idea. As I sit here and struggle to come up with another interesting and inspiring idea, I rejoice in the thought that it’s okay if I don’t have the answers. No matter how intelligent or clever we are, we don’t need to know it all.

That insight gives us the freedom to loosen up and learn. Each blog post I type helps me put into words the things I have learned over the years. But some days I am lost and clueless. I can’t think of a single new idea or topic to share. Or so I think.

It seemed like a revelation to me that it is okay to not have a brilliant new angle on life to reveal. What a relief that I don’t have to anticipate and correctly answer every question. But how often is it that someone takes a chance and admits he or she doesn’t understand a topic or issue? No one wants to feel foolish or dim-witted.

Most of us try to avoid areas of conversation we don’t really understand. And sometimes that’s okay. But a few us may pretend to know more than we do, and we do a great disservice to ourselves. Let us not be afraid to say, “You know, I don’t much about that topic, can you tell me more?” Not only would we learn more, but it would give others a chance to shine as well.

Give yourself permission to acknowledge the things you don’t understand. No one else expects us to be experienced on all subjects and matters. It is only our own inner critic that feeds our ego and tells us we must comment on everything. We can learn more by giving others their chance to inform, enlighten, and participate. Let us no longer be afraid to be the student instead of the teacher.

The Beauty of Silence

Meditation by HaPe_Gera

I have recently rediscovered the full power and beauty of silence. That wonderful, glorious feeling of calm and clarity, brought to your mind in just a few golden moments of total and complete silence. Time to oneself to think, to relax, to heal. No voices talking, no ringing phones, honking horns, no sirens or alarms. Just the gentle sound of nothing at all.

Over the last several months I have been away attending to a family emergency. During that time, noise and chaos were everywhere. The phone rang nonstop with concerned family members, and doctors calling with news of changing conditions. Errands were filled with squealing tires, angry beeping horns and blaring radios.

It all left little to no time for quiet and rest. Worries and household tasks took up the majority of each day. The heavy responsibilities took away all chance for peaceful reflection. There was only the constant demand of just one more thing that needed doing, one last job to do before bed.

In the week since I’ve been home, I’ve gradually begun to slow down and relax. As finances, bills and mail have finally been completed, my thoughts begin to still enough for me to once again think of meditation and relaxation.

Take it from me; there is no bliss in the world like the sound of silence. Just taking a half hour to close the bedroom door, lie on the bed and listen to . . . nothing. Of course as any meditator knows, sounds will still intrude, but how wonderful to hear the birds chirping outside, or the steady, reassuring hum of the refrigerator. How fantastic to listen to the sedate sounds of your beating heart and to notice the feel of the air moving in and out of your lungs.

Silent, tranquil, soothing quiet is a balm to the soul. It uplifts and strengthens the spirit while it soothes and comforts the mind. I heartily recommend taking 15 minutes – try it right now. Let the peaceful feelings of warmth fill your heart and mind, giving you much-need relief. I’m sure you’ll find the time highly worthwhile.

Things I’ve Learned From My Dogs.

My two little fuzzy bundles of joy have taught me many great lessons over the years. Here are just a few:

• When you want someone’s attention all you have to do is stare at them for 10 minutes.
• Nothing is better than being reunited with your family.
• Just driving your car can be a great adventure.
• When you keep your mouth shut and eyes and ears open, you’ll be amazed at the things you notice.
• A full belly and a good nap can make your pain disappear.
• You can adapt to almost any new situation if you have to.
• Body language is an extremely effective means of communication.
• Be willing to try new foods, you might love them.
• It’s not how educated you are that’s important, but how you treat the people around you.
• Being willing to approach new people is a good way to make friends.
• Fresh air and a long walk often make you feel better.
• Living in the present moment is a healthy way to live.
• You’re never too old to roll around in the grass.

What great lessons have your pets taught you? I’m constantly amazed at how much of my dogs needs I can understand simply from their body language and behavior. Often what people DO is much more important that what they SAY. I’m grateful every day for my dogs love and affection – as long as I love them, they love me right back!

What I learned from Negative Nelly.

Grumpy Bear Uploaded on January 23, 2007 by ckirkman

I have only one day left to answer the challenge from Middle Zone Musings. What have I learned from. . .anything at all? The first thing that pops into my head is all the negative people in my life, many of whom I refer to in my mind as “negative Nelly.” Over the years these people have taught me the importance of having fun, enjoying life and taking chances.

My first thought when I’m confronted by a negative, pessimistic, cynical person is to try to change them. I admit I generally still try. I try to cheer them up, find out their interests and likes; see if I can discover the passion in them. Sometimes it works and they “wake up.” Sometimes they look at me as if I’ve grown a second head.

My second thought is still “What is wrong with these people? Why can’t they enjoy the positive things in their lives and not dwell on the negative?” And my third thought is “Why do these people keep popping up in my life?”

After about 5 years of this, I’ve come to realize the reason I am still coming across so many of these people in my life is because I’m still learning from them. Each time I see a grouchy, grumpy person who looks dull and lifeless, it reminds me to have some fun, do something I enjoy, basically to make sure I don’t turn out the same way!

Sometimes they actually make me laugh out loud. I mean when you see someone so grim and serious, even at an amusement park, a busy restaurant or at the playground, you can’t help but be amused. I think I’ve learned how to be positive and upbeat enough to get these people out of my life for good, but then they just pop up again.

Luckily I can say that I’ve come a long, long way. I bounce back more quickly than I used to. I can find more things to be grateful for in one week of looking than I used to acknowledge in a whole year. I’ve found wonderful people in my personal life and on the Internet that bring joy, peace, laughter, and serenity into my life. Today there are more happy, positive people in my life than ever before.

So if I’m not yet on the verge of being a successful, motivated, happy person able to teach others how to do the same, at least I can enjoy the process and find the upside in looking at so many sourpusses day after day. I can find the light when I’m in the dark, and the sun still shines on the gloomiest day. I’m learning every day, and that’s never a bad thing.

A few things I've learned. . .

IMG_0372 Uploaded on February 7, 2006 by seveno2003

• That life is not about just getting by. To feel alive you need to be exhilarated and joyful. Surround yourself with things that make you happy and find something to smile about each day.
• 
  
• Sometimes you just need a place to hide. It can be inside like a bookstore or library, or outside in the backyard or the beach; or even just alone in your bedroom. Find your special space to get away for a while.
  
• 
  
• Being open to new experiences brings satisfaction and pleasure. Each time you try something new or learn a skill, you will expand your boundaries and redefine yourself.
• 
  
• Silence is blessed. Through writing, meditation, or a simple walk, your mind clears and your thoughts slow down. Quiet times bring discovery. If you don’t like what you find, this is a perfect opportunity to begin change.
• 
  
• Standing up for your beliefs when they differ from “everyone else’s” is hard, but being true to yourself brings you peace.
• 
  
• Life is not as miserable as TV news makes it out to be.
• 
  
• Helping others is the surest way to take your mind off your own worries.
• 
  
• Mistakes are easier to accept when you are able to learn from them. The biggest mistakes have the greatest insights.
• 
  
• Take care of yourself first. If you are confused, annoyed or irritated, take a few minutes for yourself. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom, take the time to collect your thoughts and take a few deep breaths. You will be calmer and can nip aggravation in the bud – and keep it from spreading.