Capture from TV tuner card by mrebert
The news is often depressing, sad, dreary and just plain unwatchable. Sure we may need a little bit of information about the state of the world, but it seems to me there might be a few places to they could improve the delivery. Here are few ideas of my own:
- After every horrible, unhappy story, show pictures of cute, fuzzy baby animals.
- No speculators please. Don’t guess or imagine what horrible possible scenarios may occur, or why an unspeakable atrocity was committed. Stick to the facts, or don’t do the story at all.
- Put it on at 2 a.m., when hardly anyone is awake or watching TV.
- Skip the pictures and descriptions of the brutal mutilation of some hapless victim. Whether in the morning, noon or 6 p.m., this is a definite appetite destroyer.
- Have circus clowns as hosts to help take your mind off the negative reporting.
- No more so-called experts please. Just ask the people on the street – they’re right just about as often, and are not nearly so smug about it.
- Put on 2 positive stories for each negative one shown. (Yes they are out there, you simply have to look.)
Here are a few more freebies:
- Stop all those flashing headlines and tickers running across the screen. They are enormously distracting. Save that stuff for when something truly devastating occurs.
- Skip the celebrity updates. Unless one of them has cured cancer we don’t need to know. That’s what talk shows and Inside Edition are for.
- Don’t report about the same problem more than twice in one week unless you’ve suddenly come up with a solution of your own.
- Every hour flash a black screen with the message “Time for a news break. Please enjoy this musical collage of playful puppies.”