Savor the Moment

Sunset by Per Ola Wiberg (former ponanwi and Powi)

When is the last time you had a romantic candlelit dinner with wine and roses? Have you seen the first snowflakes of the season - for many people they have already appeared? While driving did you notice the sun shimmering on the orange and red leaves so that they seemed on fire? Have you heard the crickets serenading at night or birds singing in the morning? If not, you are depriving yourself of some of life’s greatest beauties.

Beautiful moments happen every day. Sometimes, in our rush to get to work, home, the store, wash the dishes or dust the house, we miss out on simple pleasures that could lighten our day and bring wonder and bliss to our lives. We fool ourselves into thinking that we can enjoy it tomorrow or the next day, not realizing that we’re cheating ourselves in the process.

Appreciating and being aware of small joys not only changes our mood, making us smile and laugh more, it changes our perspective as well. When we have 10 minutes of silence before beginning our day of work, we notice that our day starts off more relaxed and peaceful. Our interactions with others are calmer and more productive so we accomplish more.

Scheduling time for ourselves helps keep us balanced. When we make time for Saturday morning golf game, or a trip to the mall with girlfriends, the satisfaction we receive stays with us all week. Putting aside an hour a day to spend time with family, read a book, join a fitness club or take a cooking class adds fulfillment to each day. It’s a small goal that can make a huge difference in how you feel day to day.

Utilize the senses. Take a moment to inhale the fresh clean air outside. Listen to the sound of your child laughing, your cat purring or music you love. Feel the soft cuddly texture of the sweater you’re wearing. Luxuriate in the warmth of a hot, steamy shower. Taste the velvety smoothness of your favorite chocolate, the silky smooth chill of ice cream or succulent flavor of a juicy steak.

Lastly, the best reason to savor the moment is because time is so fleeting. Unexpected difficulties like illness, financial problems or auto and home repairs can hit without warning. Take the time today to relish your good health, happy relationship and positive cashflow. Don’t enjoy tomorrow what you could enjoy today.

Here are a few things to savor:

• Hearing your child saying you’re the best mommy in the universe.
• Seeing the sparkle of frost in the early morning twilight.
• Sitting alone for 10 minutes with only silence for company.
• Attending a music concert. Feeling the vibrations flow through you.
• The flavor and aroma at your favorite Italian restaurant.
• Admiring your reflection in the mirror when you look good.
• Enjoying a Sunday afternoon nap.
• A rainbow after the storm.
• Freshly laundered clothes warm from the dryer.
• Having a job and getting a steady paycheck.
• Low gas prices.
• Adorable costumes and trick-or-treaters on Halloween.

Looking for the Good

You can’t see me by Piez

Some days it’s hard to find something to smile about. Perhaps like me, you’ve been sick for several weeks, hacking, coughing and sneezing, full of aches and pains, and you just don’t feel like yourself.

Maybe the news about the economy, housing market or inflation has you down. Maybe you know friends or family who have lost money or are struggling, and you feel frustrated and angry.

Now is when your attitude is more important than ever. Positive thinking is not an attempt to sugar-coat the negative events in our life, but rather a life boat that lifts us out of troubled water and gives us the time and space needed to access our situation.

Looking for the good takes effort. It takes work and thought to find the positive stories and happy information in your daily news. You must actively participate while you watch TV or read the newspaper. For instance, just yesterday I was pleased to see that 6-year old Cole Puffinburger was returned alive and uninjured after being abducted at gunpoint from his home. That is something to celebrate!

There are other things too. In my local paper there has been news of public library expansions, donations to build new playgrounds, and openings of new businesses and restaurants in the area. The weather report is sunny and cool - great for outdoor trips. Even the return of a favorite TV show can make you smile. There’s always something good if you look for it.

Many experts from Sarah Ban Breathnach to Oprah have praised the far-reaching benefits of a gratitude journal. From helping you count your blessings, to relieving past pleasurable experiences, a gratitude journal is a great tool in the search for the positive and uplifting. If used daily it can focus your attention on the various accomplishments, fun experiences and happiness of everyday life. It can improve your feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment and give you a written record of the good things that surround you.

Looking for the good is worth the effort. If you practice it enough, it becomes a habit, one that will bring you joy and comfort for many years to come. Positive thinking is a skill that allows your mind to break free of the negativity and find peace and serenity in the midst of turmoil.

Like the old saying “this too, shall pass.” Remembering that will help you to savor joys while they last, and give hope when things look bleak. There is always beauty to be found, but we must open our eyes to see it.

Don’t Be a Mutant.

Today I kept thinking about a movie I saw recently “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.” In the movie, Dustin Hoffman plays Mr. Magorium, avid-shoe wearer, and owner of the fabulous, magical Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium toy store.

Natalie Portman is Molly Mahoney the manager of the store, and Zach Mills plays the wonderful character of Eric Applebaum, hat-collector extraordinaire. But the character who most captured my attention is Jason Bateman, the accountant Henry Weston, also known as “The Mutant.”

The Mutant is the typical, dull, boring business person who is so focused on work and “the job,” that he takes no time to notice anything around him, so obviously he sees nothing unusual about the store. He is plain, ordinary, and has no outstanding characteristics at all.

I find myself constantly surrounded by mutants. Those people who are so engrossed in the process of living, that they don’t take time to breathe and exist in the moment. You know them as the harried friend who talks on the cell phone while you eat succulent lobster at the restaurant. Or the mom who is so busy trying to keep the house spotless, she doesn’t have time to play dress-up with her daughters.

Be aware of the magic around you; the perfume of freshly blooming jasmine, or the soft downy feel of fluffy puppy fur. The sweet silky taste of chocolate as it melts on your tongue. The flush and rapid beat of your heart as you exercise, dance and play. And the musical melody of chirping crickets serenading the soft silvery glow of the full moon.

Beware the mutants. Protect yourself. Learn to live in the now and focus on what’s in front of you. Stretch, breathe, laugh and love. Watch the sun rise in the shades of pink, orange and purple. Turn up the radio on your favorite song, be the first to hug and the last to let go.

Tips for Staying Young at Heart.

Are we having fun yet? by Super tourist

No one likes being around a whining, complaining, stick-in-the-mud. So how do you keep time from changing you from a fun-loving, spontaneous thrill-seeker, to an angry old curmudgeon who is unhappy with life and everyone in it?

One answer is to keep the goal of staying young at heart on the top of your yearly resolutions. Happiness is not something that happens by chance, it’s something we have to work at every day. And one key to happiness is not to let the sorrows and obstacles of life drag down your body and mind.

We need to get outside our comfort zone, learn and experiment with new things, loosen up and enjoy daily delights. Here are a few tips I’ve rounded up to help keep an optimistic, big-hearted outlook in the coming years:

• Surround yourself with loved ones. Family, friends, coworkers, pets, and anyone else who fits the bill. Staying in touch with people we love helps us feel included and appreciated. Having a friend helps keep loneliness at bay and gives us a reason to recover faster from illness.
• Stay flexible. In both body and mind. Read, do puzzles, learn a new language or play cards. Try a new exercise or sport, anything from tai chi to basketball to juggling. Strengthen all your muscles for a strong and healthy life.
• Be playful. Find activities you enjoy and do them often. Whether it’s riding a bike, going to the movies or joining a clown troupe. Try something you’ve always wanted to do, like learning to play the violin or taking a scuba-diving class.
• Indulge in occasional luxuries. Have lobster at a fancy restaurant; rent the red Corvette you’ve dreamed of for your weeklong vacation. Stay at a 5-star hotel and get the massage, facial and Jacuzzi included. Or simply eat your favorite dessert or soak in a hot bath to relax. Treat yourself to things that make you happy.
• Be silly from time to time. Go the local playground and don’t bring your kids with you. Play hide-and-go-seek with your grandkids. Watch a cartoon, go roller-skating again, hug a teddy bear and smile. Let your hair down (unless you like pigtails better) and laugh out loud.
• Exercise. Exercise of all kinds makes our muscles stronger, helps us breath more deeply and alleviates stress. The key is to find a style you enjoy. If traditional weight lifting and aerobics don’t do anything for you, think about something else. Try a team sport like baseball, join a fossil club and hike to your destination, or add a trampoline to the backyard. Nothing keeps you young like an active and fit body.

Talk Yourself Out of a Bad Mood.

Lego space men by Gaetan Lee

Just like negative thinking can bring you down, positive self-talk can make you feel more optimistic and energetic. This works especially well if what you’re worried about is a future event, or what you fear “might” happen. For instance, I recently started a new job. After not working for two years, I was understandably nervous. “Would I do a good job? Would people like me?”

Some of the possible problems for me were; I would look foolish because I couldn’t find my way around and would get lost, or my clothes wouldn’t be nice enough because I hadn’t purchased anything new.

Instead of dwelling on negative scenarios, I started picturing positive ones: me walking in with a big smile on my face as I greeted my new boss. The poised stride I had when I walked in with my favorite, most comfortable work outfit for my first day. I could actually feel the confidence of myself in these images and they were very reassuring.

And of course everything was just fine. I didn’t have any major problems, found everything I needed to, and got along quite well with my new coworkers. By redirecting my negative thoughts, I was able to save myself hours of worry over things that didn’t even happen.

For me, the easiest thing to do was to actually speak to myself out loud. I would say, “Shirley, you’re going to be great. You are smart and capable and a fast learner. You’re really going to enjoy this job.” I find that speaking out loud paints a more vivid picture in my head. (Of course, if you need to do this for work, or public speaking, you may need to speak only in your head, unless you want some really strange looks.)

The main thing is, if you notice self-doubt rearing its ugly little head, put a stop to it. When that inner critic tells you, you can’t do it, tell her to put a sock in it! Take charge of your thinking and put an end to your worry with some positive words. If you need a little inspiration, just think of what your best friend, mother or spouse would tell you, and say it aloud.

Sometimes I even imagine that my favorite cartoon characters or movie character giving me the advice. It makes me laugh, and that breaks the spell of those pessimistic thoughts and makes me feel better instantly. Try it yourself. It might be just what you need to boost your self-esteem and get you through a tough time.

How to Stay Positive When Your Life Is Falling Apart.

One cute nose! by WTL photos

Gas prices are rising. Bills need to be paid. Ordinary tasks are confusing and difficult. Like dominoes falling in a row, problems are piling up. Frustration and irritation follow you like a cloud of doom. How do you keep your sense of humor and sanity while you’re standing in the downpour?

When troubles come knocking at your door, how do you retain your inner calm and stay balanced so you don’t let stress and anger aggravate the problems you already have? It’s easy to be peaceful when things are going well, but having a few ready-to-use techniques when you're overwhelmed is very helpful.

Here’s a few of the ideas I use to help keep myself centered:

• Call a friend. Find someone to talk to, who can keep your troubles private, while letting you vent and perhaps even give you a fresh perspective on your problem.
• Write a daily gratitude journal. This can be vital in helping you see the good things in life. Just this simple step can help you feel more in control of your life, aware and in charge.
• Have some chicken soup. Literally and figuratively. Have a big bowl of comforting homemade chicken soup and pour over inspirational stories from Chicken Soup for the Soul. Both body and mind will get a lift.
• Find your motivation. What helps you feel better? Faith and church, friends and family, proving your worth? Maybe you need a day away from your problems to gain perspective. Look for what motivates and excites you into action.
• Let go of what you can’t change. Don’t hold on to guilt and pain about things that are out of your control or that have already happened. Instead focus on improving what you can and do your best to move forward towards your goals.
• Count your triumphs, not your failures. Remember to give yourself a pat on the back for all the smiles you’ve given, the love you shared, and the gifts you’ve given. When your good outweighs your bad, you’re on the right track.
• Give yourself some credit. When things go bad and we make mistakes, we may tend to forget the good things we’ve done. Keep a folder of people thanking you, certificates of your skills, and other tidbits of your better days. Look it over when you’re feeling unloved and unappreciated.

These are just a start, of course. Feel free to share your own ideas here for me. Meanwhile here are a few other related articles to help you out.

How to overcome those bad days.

Everyday perks not to be missed.

Don’t stop believing in yourself.

Good News is Always Welcome.

Freddy’s Happy by Rob Lee

The everyday world sometimes seems cold and unfriendly. Newspapers and TV are full of information on murders, fires, car accidents and more. As you listen to the statistics of crime and see the images of men and women beaten and attacked in their homes, you begin to feel grouchy and irritable. “The world’s a mess,” you say. Suddenly you find yourself feeling inexplicably depressed for no understandable reason.

There is hope. You need a good old fashioned dose of positive thinking and optimism. Good news is out there. You can scan newspaper articles and find heroic 8-year-olds whose phone call to 911 saved their mother’s life. You can watch TV and find Holmes on Homes, where Mike Holmes fixes the construction, plumbing and electrical mistakes that others have made. You can find the good out there if you just make the time to look.

Putting in that extra effort is worth it. As you start to notice the good people and organizations that are dedicated to helping others, your day will brighten and your cynicism will fade away. You’ll recognize the goodness in mankind is out there, it’s just being ignored. You’ll read about people who promote random acts of kindness, whether it’s something as simple as smiling at a over-worked mom, or purchasing a meal for the person behind you at your favorite fast food restaurant. As you read about the kindness people share with each other, the beautiful generosity of the human spirit, you’ll be moved and inspired to share the joy.

You’re outlook will brighten through the uplifting stories of hope and selflessness. After book marking a few “Good News Only” web sites, you notice you’re view beginning to change. You’ll feel more comfortable around strangers, and find yourself singing as you work. This more balanced perspective will help you find life more of a joy, and help you not to lose hope in the future. People around the world are working hard to make a positive difference. The world is a good place to be.

There are people working to help the poor, improve the environment and give back to their communities. Read the story of Dave, who studied the “natural recovery from MS,” program and went from wheelchair to bicycle in less than 3 years. Or watch the You Tube video about Hybrid Solar Lighting that was shown on Discovery channel. See the miraculous rescue and inter-species hero when a dolphin saves a surfer from a shark attack.

Share your own good news stories with friends and families. Change your own focus to the positive and uplifting and watch as your perspective and view of the world shift to a more upbeat outlook.

To help you get your search started, here are a few of my favorite good news and happiness sites:

Good News Network

Happy News

Happiness at Work – The Chief Happiness Officer

The Positivity Blog

Free Hugs Campaign

Watch what you say.

Speak no evil Uploaded on July 20, 2006 by matrianklw

Your words have power. What are yours saying? Do you speak with energy, enthusiasm, appreciation and love? It is often hard to do, but the rewards are immense. Being kind with your words, being clear in your speech, and patiently listening to the other person are reflections of a confident, respectful person. The kind of person I want myself to be. I frequently fall short of this goal by saying things without thinking, but I am working to improve.

Every day we interact with other people. We have repeated chances to be share good news, compliments, funny stories and add joy to our speech. We have the opportunity to listen and understand, and to learn about each other. I find that when I understand someone, I am usually better able to talk to them on their wavelength and get a positive result in return. Certainly this is hard to do, with all the distractions of a busy work environment, and constant interruptions, but since it works so well, it’s worth trying when you get the chance.

I would dearly love to give you wonderful tools and techniques to accomplish all of this, but all I have is my own experience. I often forget the power of my words, and utter mundane, dull or brainless things. How many times have I let my mood affect my words? When I don’t feel well, if I’ve had a bad day, I snap and growl at people around me. Later I feel guilty for starting a fight or hurting someone just to release some of my own pain.

I’m not a professional speaker, but hopefully I can share a few tips to help you pay attention to your words and your intention. One way is to acknowledge what you are feeling. I often write a description of my emotions and state of mind. Just writing it down helps me to see it for what it is – justified anger, irrational anger, job stress, or lack of energy. Once I’ve done that I can take action. Make a plan to talk with someone about the issue, take a break to re-set my mind from a bad day, or eat something so I’m energized.

It may seem so simple to do, but when you’re tired, over-worked, or distracted it can be the hardest thing to remember. Other solutions are to count to ten before speaking, or simply say “You might be right.” Both are hard to do in the heat of the moment, but don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to practice. (I know I do.) By simply thinking more about what you are saying, you are less likely to lash-out or verbally attack someone. Speaking in a more loving and positive tone will make your day more pleasant and keep you in a good frame of mind. Just as “you are what you eat,” you are also what you speak.