Happiness How-To.

What’s Happiness by Absolut1

I’m no expert, so don’t expect world class advice. But I can tell you I’ve been studying the habits of happiness myself for the last several years. Some of my friends may tell you that I’m far from perfect at staying happy. A permanently high level of happiness is hard to achieve – but that’s not to say that it’s not worth working for.

Even though I try and sometimes fail, I still think that happiness is under-rated as a success factor in life. Many people brush it off as frivolous, a waste of time, or unreachable simply because there is not set way to accomplish it.

Just because the definition varies by person, doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth pursuing. Of all the skills and habits you’d like to acquire in your life, I’d say uncovering your happiness goals and finding out what actually makes you happy would be right at the top of the list.

Scientists have begun to study happiness seriously in the last 20 years and have discovered a wealth of information. Happiness is vastly wide-ranging topic and covers a variety of ideas and subject such as positive thinking, optimism, humor, goal-setting, gratitude, appreciation, stress relief,

Even if you worked on your happiness for the rest of your life – is that so bad? I certainly enjoy learning new skills, going on new adventures, and finding new interests. Happiness covers all those topics. Happiness is really simply a part of your journey of self-discovery. It’s about understanding yourself.

So here’s my 2 cents worth on some of the most important parts of happiness how-to:

1. Lighten-up. We’re all too serious. We listen to news 24/7, most of which is bad, and wonder why we feel upset and angry. We like to complain, criticize and fault find. But the truth is that wonder, beauty and joy surround us every day. Plus, what does all that misery and frustration get us? Nothing but stiff necks, aching heads and an upset stomach.
2. Appreciate what you have. Too many of us, pass through life with luxuries that at least 50% of the world doesn’t have – yet we complain how poor we are. We need to realize how blessed even our poorest people are compared to others. And how blessed we are to have the freedoms we enjoy.
3. Tell others you love them. If you want to feel happiness and love, try to share some with family and friends. Often we take for granted that others know how much we care. But until we tell them, they may not really know. If you don’t have the words, check with Hallmark, they’re master messengers of love.
4. Slow down. Take time to notice the warm sunshine, the sight of your spouse’s smile, the tantalizing aroma and mouth-watering taste of homemade chicken soup. Take a day off and go to a park, where the naturally slower rhythms of nature will help you settle into a more peaceful frame of mind. Don’t go so fast through life that you miss out on the little things – those are the best part!
5. Today is a new day. The great thing about life is that as long as we still breathe, we have a chance to right our mistakes. It’s never too late to start over, to make amends for our errors, and to make this day the best day of our life. Once you fully recognize this, every day is full of endless possibilities.
6. Smile whenever you have a chance. Because we’re all imperfect people and life is unpredictable, we will always have problems in our lives. That’s why it’s so important to enjoy ourselves when we have a chance. Don’t be afraid to smile at a baby in the store, to laugh at a joke with a friend, or share good news with your coworkers. Joy brings light and happiness into even the darkest room.
7. Do what you enjoy. I don’t just mean a job you love. Whatever you love – photography, fishing, rock collecting or jazz music, do more of it. Join a club, go to a tradeshow, find a Internet site or forum online, teach it to children or simply talk about it with others. Keep your passions alive and well.
8. Love the little things. When is the last time you star-gazed and searched for shooting stars? Or watched the wind blow the grass while you drank a glass of tea? Or read a great book? Saw a fantastic movie? If your answer is “I don’t remember,” you have some work to do. Small joys are some of the best things in life. Like a child’s laughter or a sunset, they are usually free, but fleeting, so it’s best to enjoy the moment while you can.
9. Be open to change. Knowing that things will change is half the battle. The other half is accepting the change. We are habitual creatures, and we enjoy a predictable, set routine. Whether at work, at home, or just the “society norms,” we expect things to be a certain way. When we are open to the possibility of change we can get experience a deep enjoyment of our current happiness, because like Christmas, some things are simply more enjoyable because of their rarity.
10. Be positive. Optimism is a great tool for happiness. When you look for the good in every situation, you are always learning and growing. It also helps you discover kindness, generosity and love you may have overlooked before. Even when times are had, you can still enjoy the love and support of family and friends, your health, or simply the beauty of a new day.

Of course this is merely the tip of the iceburg. Happiness is so much more than this. But it’s important to start somewhere. To help you further your research here are several of my favorite web sites on the topic of happiness:

The Happiness Project

The Happiness Institute

Happiness.com

Chief Happiness Officer

Positive Psychology News Daily

New Year Do-Over.

Happy New Year by Mykl Roventine

It’s coming! It’s almost here! That special, wonderful day when we get a chance to right the wrongs and fix our mistakes – instantly. New Year’s Day is our “do-over,” day. That chance we had as kids when we made an easy mistake and messed up before we even got started. We’d just shout out “Do Over,” and viola – like magic our mistakes were forgiven and we had a chance for a fresh start.

Our do-over, could range from anything as simple as trashing a bad drawing to re-starting a friendship. No matter how badly we screwed up, we could claim these golden words, and begin again. Do-over’s were a magical, mystical method of fixing anything, at any time, for any reason. Like wiping the chalkboard clean and starting a new problem, “do-over” offered endless possibilities and chances for corrections.

We didn’t learn that “do-over” wasn’t a valid method of fixing errors until we got older and learned that other people could hit a baseball on the first try, or color a picture perfectly within the lines without needing a chance to redo it. We learned that we should be better, faster, quicker and smarter on the first try – without the need to practice first or fix anything.

The problem with this of course, is that it’s completely unrealistic. We’re not all great dancers, talented athletes, or even good readers on our first try. We need help, practice, and a chance to keep trying until we get it right. Or at least to do it better. Do-over is that magic method we need. A chance to work on our flaws, missteps, bloopers and blunders. An opportunity to fix things to the way we’d like them to be.

This year, don’t dread your New Year’s Resolutions and waste time worrying about past mistakes. Instead, imagine how you could do it differently. Create a new mindset and a new idea of yourself. Don’t let current trends and fads guide you. Envision the new you – and then work to make it reality. Just do-it-over.

Work with your strengths. Focusing on your flaws doesn’t make them disappear, and sometimes just makes you feel worse about yourself. If you’re not a morning person and have no energy to get up, no amount of coercion is going to make you a jump out of bed with a smile at 6 a.m. Instead, use that evening energy to get as much done for the next day as possible; make your lunch, pick out your clothes, put your shoes, keys, wallet and ID badge by the door. Make it as easy as possible to start the day off right.

Do-over your idea of yourself. Instead of seeing someone who doesn’t like to exercise, discover the person who loves to use their workout to catch up on the news or favorite sports show. Do-over your ideas about how things have to be done, and try a new way of living. Don’t like the drive to work? Get a satellite radio to make it more enjoyable. Use a tape recorder to brainstorm ideas for your new project. Or train your mind – mull over brain teasers or practice tongue twisters on your way to work. You’ll arrive alert and relaxed.

Above all, remember that whatever mistakes you made yesterday, whatever you messed up, today is a day full of new beginnings and fresh starts. Every day can be a “do-over” day if you need it to be. When you put forth the effort, you will see results. So what will you “do-over” today?

Resolutions You Can Keep.

Welcome to another brand-new year my friends! Like me, you may want to take some time to think about what you want to accomplish this year. Goals you’d like to achieve, places you’d like to visit, habits you’d like to start, and improvements you’d like to make. The beginning of the year is a great time to get a head start on deciding what direction you want to go for the next year. The best place to start is by going over your goals and expectations from last year. Here’s a look at my 2007 Goals:

1. Find out what makes me happy.
2. Become happy with who I am today.
3. Learn about film-editing school.
4. Learn about photo slide shows (of weddings, past memories, birthdays and more).
5. Clear out – if you don’t enjoy it, get rid of it. If you don’t use it, throw it away.
6. Indulge. If you love it – use it, touch it, smell it, play with it. Don’t “save” things for the future. Use it now, tomorrow may never come.
7. Use aroma therapy. Try flower essences. Experiment.
8. Blog every day. Write and try to add give something useful to my blog readers every day. Write down those elusive ideas – those are the best ones.
9. Stop complaining. Stop the whining and complaining. Focus on the positive in my life. Try to go for 24 hours without one complaint. See how it affects the rest of my day.
10. Be tolerant of criticism. Use my own techniques (armor myself, pretend it’s someone else) to keep criticism from getting me down.
11. Volunteer. Doing things for others takes your mind off your own troubles. Volunteer somewhere, even in a library literacy program, just so it helps me be grateful for what I already have.

Now, as you can imagine, I didn’t achieve all of these. For instance, I still complain too much (mostly to my poor husband), I don’t take criticism that well (though I am getting better), and I didn’t get to volunteer or clean up my junk as much as I wanted to.

I did however use my aroma therapy more often – especially the lavender, which is so wonderful for a calm and peaceful mind. I also learned a lot more about what makes me happy and what doesn’t. Plus I did other things that I plan to add to this year list, like having more adventures (flying in a open-air plane and riding my ATV more often), and finding ways to make exercise fun enough to do more often.

In the past 4-5 years, my resolutions have changed dramatically. They’re much more free-flowing and flexible, and they reflect more of what I really want in my life. They’re always short and to the point, and include lots of fun things to keep me motivated. My one flaw is that I only wrote these on the computer and didn’t have them out where I’d see them every day (or at least every week). So this year I plan on printing a copy or two to keep out.

Here’s a few of my favorite goals from 2006:

View failure as fertilizer – it helps you grow!

1. Meditate often –daily if possible.
2. Make more money.
3. Have fun everyday.
4. Stretch for 10 minutes a day.
5. Buy more comedy tapes.
6. Practice eye exercises and try to improve vision. (Vitamins)
7. Worry less.
8. Walk once a day at break time.
9. Practice juggling. It’s fun therapy.

Don’t wait for opportunity to come to you. Look for opportunity.

10. Practice humor every day.
11. Visit someplace you’ve never been.
12. Scan family pictures to computer and save on disk.
13. Read cartoon books –Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes, Far Side.
14. Practice Reiki and energy healing.
15. Pray for others.
16. Memorize acupressure points – especially for pain, headache, anxiety and tiredness.

The secret to happiness is: a good sense of humor and a bad memory.

If you’re like me and love making lists, and writing down your brilliant ideas, think about making a list of goals for yourself. I don’t have to write down my goals by January 1, January 31, or any set deadline. I just write them down as they come to me. Make your goals varied, some very easily obtainable, others harder to do. Make sure to add things in that really excite you and make you feel want to run out and start now.

Make your list fun too. Add a few favorite quotes, put it on colored paper, or write a suggestion that makes you smile or laugh every time you read it. When your goals are truly about you, and making your life fuller, more satisfying and happier, you won’t struggle to do them. Find the things that bring you joy and happiness and do those first, and the other items will fall into place.

I’d love to hear back from anyone on their goals and dreams for the next year. What positive habits do you want to start? What Good luck everyone – and Happy New Year!!!

Daily Observations

Pencils and moleskins 04 Uploaded on January 5, 2006 by paulworthington

Want to keep track of important moments in your life, keep a list of funny things that happen to you and monitor your progress towards your goals? Try starting a Daily Observation diary. I’ve always kept mine on the computer, but you could use a notebook or journal. All you do is take a few minutes once or twice a day and write down things you want to remember – anything at all. A funny sign you saw, your baby’s funny sayings, or ideas that will help you reach your goals.

I’ve been doing this since 2005. I’ve noted things like how a 1-hour traffic delay was funny (later that day) because it meant equality – every lane was the slow lane. I made up funny proverbs like “A bird in the hand – will inevitably poop on you,” and “Teach a man to fish – and he’s gone every weekend.” And I’ve noted nonsensical things that just made me laugh like; I spent an evening practicing juggling in my bedroom (so no one would see me mess up). I was practicing with what I had on hand, using tennis balls, and my dog came through the partially open door. She promptly grabbed the first tennis ball I dropped and ran off.

When I look back at these memories, the details I recorded help bring the scene back to life and I laugh (and cry) about the past. I can look back and see my progress and my failures; it’s a great gauge for your life. This year I moved from central Florida to the quiet mountains of West Virginia and was out of work. My one regret is not keeping up my Daily Observations. (Being without a daily routine like work is what did it, I thought I had time for everything.) Luckily I did at least write down moments here and there – and they are priceless! I highly encourage you to try this habit and let me know if it brings you the insight and pleasure it has me.