Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Answers to the Energy Crisis.

Picture by Lollie-Pop

In these stressful days when gas prices keep us home more often, and the TV is full of nonsense and hype, we all need a little comedy relief. It seems everyone and their mother has an idea to offer to solve our energy problems. Here are just a few more ideas. . .

  • Foot Power: The Flintstones is the inspiration for this idea. No more high gas prices. Now we use the power of our feet. Stinky, dry and rough, or with long yellow nails, suddenly feet are beautiful. We could launch Pedal Power Plants in every gym in America.
  • Celebrity Power: Everywhere you look there are celebrities; newspapers, TV, Internet and more. At the next award show simply line the red carpet with lots of wind generators. All that hot air could power us for a year.
  • Weed Power: Why bother with corn-based ethanol? Instead we could use crab grass, dandelions, thistles and more. All those nuisance, fast-growing weeds that do nothing but get in the way. At the rate they grow we’ll be energy independent in 6 months.
  • Bean Power: This one is self-evident, but easily overlooked. Simply take 1,000 people or so and have a free bean tasting event. Then lock them all in a steel tanker. Viola – a free source of natural gas.
  • South Park Power: As any fan knows, if we simply put Butters in charge of Imaginationland our troubles will quickly disappear. All it takes is a little mind power and poof – instant resolution. No messy processing plants or waiting needed.
  • Psychic Power: This is another no-brainer. Gather the top ten psychics from across the nation together and have them give us the answers. After all, they’re psychics - they already know exactly what we need to do.
  • Hoof Power: Bring back horse travel. Just think of the income generated by all the necessary street cleans, boot makers and corral builders. It will instantly lower fuel costs, with the added bonus of boosting the economy.
  • Berry Power: Have the government issue every citizen a new Blackberry device – complete with a paid service plan. We could all communicate instantly via email, text message and phone, thereby reducing the need to actually go anywhere.

What creative solutions do you have for the energy crisis? Leave your great ideas in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by and have a fun day!

1 comment:

Jason of Kim & Jason said...

Now yer talking! These ideas are MUCH better than the ones I hear most polititicans proposing :)