Thursday, September 24, 2009

Best Ways to Deal With a Harry Potter Hater.

Yes, believe it or not HP Fans, there are actually people who do not adore our little black-haired, super-genius, evil-defeating hero known as Harry Potter. These foolish muggles overlook the greatness of The-Boy-Who-Lived, thinking him nothing more than a silly little child.

When you come upon such addle-brained and unenlightened people, simply try some of these well proven strategies to cope with their narrow little minds:

  1. Make sure they are healthy. Find out if they have had a recent check-up. A head injury could account for their confusion on the subject. Check their pulse and peer into their eyes to be sure they are breathing and not in a coma.
  2. Be friends. Assure them that you understand how much better the Jedi in Star Trek was. Always salute them with “Live Long in the Force.” This is sure to please.
  3. Squeal in horror as you recognize a Death Eater in disguise. Shout “Death to Voldemort,” and run away screaming.
  4. Express your sympathy about their being dyslexic. No wonder they haven’t read the books yet poor things!
  5. Gently pat their hand and assure them it’s alright to be afraid of the unknown. Offer to teach them the “Lumos” spell if they’re also afraid of the dark.
  6. Send them frequent HP updates, including new movies, the upcoming theme park, each character’s film career and whatever other interesting tidbits you can find. Tell them “you don’t know what you’re missing – let me show you.”
  7. Remark on how much they look like a Harry Potter character. Argue with yourself over which one they remind you of most. “Hagrid - no, Dumbledore – certainly not, ahh, I have it – Dobby!”
  8. Report them to the Ministry of Magic. These are obviously criminal masterminds whose resistance to the esteemed Mr. Potter is simply a reflex of their dislike for any “meddling goody-two-shoes.”
  9. Assume they are a pessimist who thinks everyone is terrible. Suggest you can teach them skills to become as optimist as you have been inspired by the heroics of Harry and his friends. Offer to give them numerous examples.
  10. Check them into the nearest psychiatric hospital for examination. Nothing but mental impairment sufficiently explains their lack of adoration for our favorite hero. :0)

Check out this fun video on You Tube.

For more ways to annoy Harry Potter Haters.

P.S. Check out my other web site Bright Days for a look at the upcoming Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, FL. Opening Spring 2010.


Jess said...


I'm not going to say I was a Harry Potter hater - I just refused to read the books. Part of it was because I thought they were for children, the other part was because the fans were should I put it..."invested" in the series. They were a little frightening.

Though now that I'm reading them for the first time, I'm pretty sure I've joined the ranks of the frightening fans.

Loved the suggestions. Very funny!

onceuponasunflower said...

This is so great!

I don't know if you know about, but you should definitely join/check it out if you don't.

Best regards!

Anonymous said...

I love harry potter am i and teased for liking ng it! isn't that weird!!!! every says that i sould read twilight and i read it and i don't like it very much!!!