Smile file: Quote fun

Happy animal face Uploaded on January 14, 2007 by Alicia Yeah

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
(T-shirt quote)

Some G-rated squeaky-clean jokes.

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman W ith a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Smile File: How to be a famous blogger.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Smile File: The cynic

Not Grumpy Uploaded on February 16, 2006 by Yogi

“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”
H. L. Mencken US editor (1880 - 1956)

Smile File: A silent fool.

Goose talking to mink Uploaded on April 5, 2007 by EcoSnake

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln, (attributed)
16th president of US (1809 - 1865)

Smile File: Precious Pirate

Aargh matey! Ye scurvy dogs missed the official "Pirate Day" on September 19th. There be no worse offense than ye not talking (and looking) like a pirate. Ye scoundrels be sure not to miss this treasure next year - or you'll walk the plank! (Or maybe the Captain will feed you dogs to the sea - Aargh!.)