Happiness How-To.

What’s Happiness by Absolut1

I’m no expert, so don’t expect world class advice. But I can tell you I’ve been studying the habits of happiness myself for the last several years. Some of my friends may tell you that I’m far from perfect at staying happy. A permanently high level of happiness is hard to achieve – but that’s not to say that it’s not worth working for.

Even though I try and sometimes fail, I still think that happiness is under-rated as a success factor in life. Many people brush it off as frivolous, a waste of time, or unreachable simply because there is not set way to accomplish it.

Just because the definition varies by person, doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth pursuing. Of all the skills and habits you’d like to acquire in your life, I’d say uncovering your happiness goals and finding out what actually makes you happy would be right at the top of the list.

Scientists have begun to study happiness seriously in the last 20 years and have discovered a wealth of information. Happiness is vastly wide-ranging topic and covers a variety of ideas and subject such as positive thinking, optimism, humor, goal-setting, gratitude, appreciation, stress relief,

Even if you worked on your happiness for the rest of your life – is that so bad? I certainly enjoy learning new skills, going on new adventures, and finding new interests. Happiness covers all those topics. Happiness is really simply a part of your journey of self-discovery. It’s about understanding yourself.

So here’s my 2 cents worth on some of the most important parts of happiness how-to:

1. Lighten-up. We’re all too serious. We listen to news 24/7, most of which is bad, and wonder why we feel upset and angry. We like to complain, criticize and fault find. But the truth is that wonder, beauty and joy surround us every day. Plus, what does all that misery and frustration get us? Nothing but stiff necks, aching heads and an upset stomach.
2. Appreciate what you have. Too many of us, pass through life with luxuries that at least 50% of the world doesn’t have – yet we complain how poor we are. We need to realize how blessed even our poorest people are compared to others. And how blessed we are to have the freedoms we enjoy.
3. Tell others you love them. If you want to feel happiness and love, try to share some with family and friends. Often we take for granted that others know how much we care. But until we tell them, they may not really know. If you don’t have the words, check with Hallmark, they’re master messengers of love.
4. Slow down. Take time to notice the warm sunshine, the sight of your spouse’s smile, the tantalizing aroma and mouth-watering taste of homemade chicken soup. Take a day off and go to a park, where the naturally slower rhythms of nature will help you settle into a more peaceful frame of mind. Don’t go so fast through life that you miss out on the little things – those are the best part!
5. Today is a new day. The great thing about life is that as long as we still breathe, we have a chance to right our mistakes. It’s never too late to start over, to make amends for our errors, and to make this day the best day of our life. Once you fully recognize this, every day is full of endless possibilities.
6. Smile whenever you have a chance. Because we’re all imperfect people and life is unpredictable, we will always have problems in our lives. That’s why it’s so important to enjoy ourselves when we have a chance. Don’t be afraid to smile at a baby in the store, to laugh at a joke with a friend, or share good news with your coworkers. Joy brings light and happiness into even the darkest room.
7. Do what you enjoy. I don’t just mean a job you love. Whatever you love – photography, fishing, rock collecting or jazz music, do more of it. Join a club, go to a tradeshow, find a Internet site or forum online, teach it to children or simply talk about it with others. Keep your passions alive and well.
8. Love the little things. When is the last time you star-gazed and searched for shooting stars? Or watched the wind blow the grass while you drank a glass of tea? Or read a great book? Saw a fantastic movie? If your answer is “I don’t remember,” you have some work to do. Small joys are some of the best things in life. Like a child’s laughter or a sunset, they are usually free, but fleeting, so it’s best to enjoy the moment while you can.
9. Be open to change. Knowing that things will change is half the battle. The other half is accepting the change. We are habitual creatures, and we enjoy a predictable, set routine. Whether at work, at home, or just the “society norms,” we expect things to be a certain way. When we are open to the possibility of change we can get experience a deep enjoyment of our current happiness, because like Christmas, some things are simply more enjoyable because of their rarity.
10. Be positive. Optimism is a great tool for happiness. When you look for the good in every situation, you are always learning and growing. It also helps you discover kindness, generosity and love you may have overlooked before. Even when times are had, you can still enjoy the love and support of family and friends, your health, or simply the beauty of a new day.

Of course this is merely the tip of the iceburg. Happiness is so much more than this. But it’s important to start somewhere. To help you further your research here are several of my favorite web sites on the topic of happiness:

The Happiness Project

The Happiness Institute

Happiness.com

Chief Happiness Officer

Positive Psychology News Daily

The Happiness Habit.

Be happy! by Robert Snache - Spirithands.net

Practice makes perfect. . .or so the saying goes. Like many quotes we hear repeated over and over, there is truth to this statement. The more you practice something, the more skilled you become. Whether you are training to be a better ballerina, or are learning to control your anger, the more you repeat an experience, the more you learn and grow.

That’s why I like the idea that happiness is a skill. I firmly believe this it to be true. I first came to hear about the idea after spending time reading some books and teachings by the Dalai Lama, including his book “The Art of Happiness.” As I learned about Buddhism, I discovered that scientific evidence had been found which showed that the brain could and does grow new neural pathways. MRI’s revealed areas of the brain which were different in monks who practice meditation and prayer every day. The longer they meditate, the more pronounced the changes in the brain.

There is also evidence that relaxation is a learned response. Many books and articles have been written on relaxation techniques. One of my favorites is the muscle relaxation, in which you lay in bed and take deep calming breathes as you imagine your muscles as knotted ropes which you mentally untie so you can “un-wind.” You can also mentally send energy to sore spots in your body, or “breathe into the muscle,” to add oxygen to your body. These techniques get easier with practice and bring tranquility and peace after a hard day.

Therefore it simply stands to reason that happiness is simply one more habit to practice. Happiness is so much more than a good mood and a positive outlook. It is going through your day with the fully-intended purpose of adding more comfort, joy, excitement, peace and love to your day. All the various and extensive things that make you happy.

Happiness is many things. It is an attitude, a perspective, an understanding, a pursuit, a discovery, a skill, an action, and a plan. It can make you happy to be at the bedside of a very ill person. Being with them may be upsetting and depressing, but knowing through words or gestures that your presence brightens the day of someone in pain can be very fulfilling. Sharing love is a huge part of happiness.

Happiness as an attitude includes the ability to see positive moments in a negative event. Perhaps you are stuck in a long checkout line at the supermarket, impatiently waiting to pay. As you are standing there you look at the magazine rack and see Mickey Mouse ears on a celebrity’s child in Disney World. It makes you smile and laugh. You start looking for other funny pictures and before you know it the line is moving forward.

Happiness is relaxing and comfortable. It is those little touches that soothe your body and mind, brining a sense of peace and security. A mug of hot tea on a rainy day. Putting your feet up after a long day of work. Thick fluffy pillows and a soft mattress at night. Paying attention to these small details can bring a warm, cozy feeling to your home making it a sanctuary from daily stress.

As with any other skill, making happiness a habit will increase your chances at success. Practicing happiness habits on a daily basis will improve your overall sense of well being so that when life’s inevitable problems occur, you will be more resilient and able to recover more quickly.

Here are a few happiness ideas to practice:

1. Find your joy. Whatever makes you happy, from coaching Little League to growing prize-winning peanuts. Make time for pet projects. They’ll add zest to your life.
2. Enjoy some blessed silence. A little bit of quiet time goes a long way. Even just 5 or 10 minutes of quiet can calm your mind and body and bring peace.
3. Spend time with positive people. Being around grouchy, irritated and negative people can affect your mood. Seek out optimistic enthusiastic friends and coworkers.
4. Get up and move. Whether you stretch, run, dance or take the dog for a walk, exercise helps energize and invigorate.
5. Share your love. Hug the dog, kiss the cat, give your spouse a love poem. Expressing your love freely will bring more awareness of the joy you already possess.
6. Be playful. Wear polka dot socks with your suit. Run through the sprinklers with the kids. Let loose and have fun.
7. Practice gratitude. Give thanks for the beautiful treasures in your life. Count your blessings and watch them add up.
8. Keep learning. Find a subject that fascinates you and learn more about it. Pirates, ancient cultures, or the habits of porcupines. New ideas will widen your perspective on life and make things more interesting.
9. Relax. Read a book, listen to music, walk, or put on a comedy. Get comfy and let your stress melt away for a while. Your body and mind will thank you.
10. Live in the moment. Stop worrying about past things you can’t change, and future events that haven’t happened. The present moment will give you more than enough to focus on.

Check out these sites for more info:

The Happiness Institute

The Happiness Project

52 Happiness Tips – Zen Habits

100 Ways to Keep Yourself Happy

Daily habits - are they good or bad?

At Stress to Power I saw a post about Reprogramming Our Robot Minds. Since human behavior is so very interesting it really got me thinking. Are the majority of your habits helping you in life or hindering you? For me, I must confess that many of mine do both. For instance, I love the computer and when I’m playing around on it I learn a lot, whether I’m looking up recipes for dinner, having a good laugh or just playing with a program. However, at the same time I can end up on it for hours, skipping over the exercise, cleaning or other chores I need to do.

Am I the only one who has this problem? I get caught up in what I’m doing, which is usually a great thing – to be in the flow, in the present moment. But when it keeps me from doing what I should, does it do more harm than good? I said should because I usually get done what I need to, like the exercise and cleaning, it’s just I sometimes start out with a 15 minute cleaning job, and then decide to do the whole house and it turns into 2 hours.

I would argue that this habit does more good than harm. I still do what I want and need to do, just not when I planned to do it. The downfall of course, is that some of this (like exercise) is more effective when done every day rather than all at once. For a look at more ideas on habits and their effect on you, check out Jenny & Erin’s tongue-in-cheek quest for understanding.

Whatever your own results are, this is a good reminder to take a look at your habits and tweak any that might be impeding your success. Good luck!